November 26, 2007
The final part of the forward mail, i know i know the heading says 50 but the list is like 64.
1. When we’re watching our favorite show, don’t try to distract us, make fun of the show, or make fun of how much we like the show. We probably know its lame, but we still watch. You have sports; we have our shows.
2. We like when you cook for us, it doesn’t have to be anything fancy, just food we aren’t picky it’s the thought that counts. If you absolutely can’t cook at all, get take out and set it up somewhat nicely.
3. Go to the gym…those pelvic muscles are insanely hot! The beer belly is not!
4. Don’t compare us to your ex-girlfriends; we aren’t them.
5. Open doors for us, we like our men to be gentlemen, bring chivalry back!
6. Just because we don’t say thank you every time you do something, doesn’t mean we don’t appreciate every little thing you do. The little things usually mean more than anything else.
7. Flowers don’t always make up for mistakes, but we love to get them when we least expect it.
8. We love to take pictures and when we want to take several it’s because we want cute ones of you or us to show off to other people.
9. When we want a girls’ night out, don’t be mad or think we are going out to look for other guys. We need our girls’ night as much as you guys need your guys’ night.
10. You can shoot hoops, score a goal, knock down big fat guys, and hit a little baseball with a stick, so why can’t you aim in the toilet and not on it.
11. Saying something sweet might get you off the hook; doing something sweet will always get you off the hook.
12. We don’t shave our legs everyday, get over it.
13. When you kiss us we don’t like to feel like we are making out with a dog so don’t slobber on our face.
14. Don’t ever lie to us; we will always find out.
15. Don’t tell us who is hot because we don’t care.
16. We shouldn’t have to plan everything, we like surprises, a little spontaneity goes a long way!
17. We’re not always girly girls; we can like boy stuff too.
18. DO NOT act different or be a jerk around your friends. It will get you in the end… (We remember these types of things)
19. Don’t always expect us to call you. The phone works both ways!
20. No matter if we’re fat or not, most girls aren’t as self-confident as guys! And we need to be complimented as often as possible!
21. Being drunk is not an excuse for ANY of your actions.
22. Do not brag to your friends…unless you want us to discuss with the girls how small your penis is.
23. Walks in the rain, kisses on the forehead, and cooking dinner for us will get you everywhere.
24. If you’re developing such good finger skills playing video games, you better put them to good use sometimes.
25. Anything you do or say to another girl that you wouldn’t want us to know about is considered cheating.
26. If you refuse to dance, expect us to dance with other guys…and lots of them.
27. We don’t always expect you to pay for us, but it doesn’t hurt to at least offer every once in a while
28. Foreplay isn’t something we should have to ask for…it’s a prerequisite
29. No girl just wants to be your “friend with benefits.”
30. We reserve the right to hate all of your ex-girlfriends
31. Think before you speak…it’ll make a world of difference
32. Don’t screw us over…especially if we have an older brother or protective guy friends…they will hunt you down and kill you
33. Just because we’re still just “hanging out” doesn’t make it ok to sleep with your ex-girlfriend
34. We aren’t asking for you to spill your heart, but some information about what’s going on in that head of yours, is nice every once in a while.
35. Don’t complain on how long it takes us to get ready and then moan about how we always used to get dolled up for you and now we don’t anymore.
36. No backseat drivers, none!
37. If you hold our hand while you are driving we will be thoroughly impressed…especially if it’s a stick.
38. The ability to play the guitar will help your COGL.
39. Return favors: we massage, you massage; we go down, you go down; we shave, you shave (and not just your face).
40. Boxers and maybe boxer briefs sometimes . . . NEVER whitey-tighties, NEVER!
41. Sensitive guys are great . . . but crying more than we do in a movie just isn’t right.
42. Silent treatment, shoulder shrugs, tears, yelling and nasty looks all add up to . . . YOU DID SOMETHING WRONG
43. Your way is not always the right way. Learn to say- “I was wrong”
44. If we can’t talk to you during a football game, then don’t try to get our attention during Grey’s Anatomy
45. We have other friends of the male gender. Just because we have guy friends doesn’t mean we are sleeping with them or think they are attractive,sometimes it’s nice to have a guys perspective on things! So leave your jealousy at the door!
46. Remember actions speak louder than words.
47. Unless you’re Dale Earnhardt Jr., we’re just as capable to drive as you are.
48. We don’t mind being DD (designated driver) as long as you’re not the DD (designated drunk) every night of the week, and you occasionally return the favor.
49. Patience is a virtue; we know what we’re doing.
50. Despite the fact that most of you will get mad and completely ignore what we’re trying to tell you on this list, we’ll still love you anyways. Probably not as much, but we gotta keep the species going right?
51. Don’t act hard around your friends because I won’t make you hard tonight.
52. “Wife Beaters” are not an adequate form of fashion.
53. If we wanted to be on video tape, we’d be a porn star not your girlfriend.
54. It takes a special kind of stupid to forget birthdays
55. Don’t say you love me if you don’t mean it.
56. If you don’t act like soap-opera guys, don’t expect us to dress like Victoria Secret models.
57. Just because you L the C doesn’t mean we have to S the D.
58. We never have to wonder if your orgasm was real.
59. Would you like it if a guy treated your sister that way? We didn’t think so.
60. When you see a girl with huge knockers, do not go “Damn!” and then laugh appreciatively to yourself - we can hear you.
61. When the girls get together, we talk about EVERYTHING. Meaning my best friends know everything about you.
62. Guys in uniform are hot, no lie, sometimes almost better than when you take them off.
63. When we are through, dont pretend like its okay to call whenever you want and make everything seem fine, especially if you caused the relationship to end. And, dont tell us about your other girlfriends or girls you met because if your trying to make us jealous, ur a lowlife.
64. If we say no once, we mean it, don’t ask again and again. No means NO!
November 26, 2007
This is the second part of the forward mail
1. Thinking that we always assume you have a hard on. We know that you can’t flip a switch and get it up just because we say so, but we wish it could. We know it takes a little work, so don’t think we’re so naive.
2. Yah yah we like passionate kisses. Don’t engulf our face with your lips in a fit of passion. We get it, your excited. Just please act a little less like an animal. That is, unless we’re roleplaying.
3. Don’t snooze when we’re all wound up. YOU KNOW we get wound up, it’s not our fault you busted before we did. An eye for an eye. Now get down there. Don’t worry, we’ll tell you what we want and how we want it. We don’t care if you’re tired.
4. WE DO expect you to cuddle, get over it. Just wait till we pass out and you can roll over and do whatever you want. At least try to throw an arm over us, it’s comforting.
5. You think we want to fall asleep in your arms? That shit IS uncomfortable after awhile. Let us snuggle up next to you, and don’t put your arm out unless you want us to fall asleep there. Your fault if you do it, we think you want us to.
6. We don’t always expect roses and candles all the time. Same as we don’t make fucking dinner every night for you to come home to. Girls like a little bit of a bad guy…not Romeo every day. Get over yourselves, we’re not the ladiesin the movies, we don’t want rose petals and bath water running every night after work. We’re just saying a little romance is always fun.
7. We read Cosmo. Get over it. We don’t knock your sports illustrated.
8. We do not use Cosmo as a sex bible. It’s funny to read about other women’s mistakes in bed. Again, we read it. Get over it. Obviously if you’re with a woman and during sex she whips out Cosmo for help, you clearly need to find a new sex partner.
9. Don’t fucking touch our heads during a blowjob. We don’t give a fuck why your pushing it or how hard. Keep your hands off of the head, unless you’re holding up our hair. If she isn’t doing it right, speak up. What if you were down on us and we grabbed you by the hair and shoved your face into our fucking vagina? You would suffocate. Same as we choke. There are other clues, buddy.
10. Missonary is boring. Don’t be afraid to rip us up and flip us over. We want to be handeled rough, but we just think you’re having a great time doing what you’re doing so we don’t stop you.
11. We don’t expect you guys to undress yourself with any amount of grace. Just take off your fucking clothes. We’ll help, don’t worry. It just looks funny when your shirts stuck on your head. We laugh and think maybe you’re not used to undressing often…hmm
12. If you want sex spontaneously, then get over the hairy legs. We don’t shave them everyday. We need some warning. You want pussy? Get over it then, cheif.
13. Most of us trim or shave down there. If not, your shit outta luck buddy. But like with 12, any woman needs a little warning, or you’re gonna have to be a trooper with stubbles.
14. We do NOT assume sex means realtionship unless you do something romantic during. This includes any caressing of the face, or kisses on the forehead, or extreme cuddling. Be careful. We mix signals, but it’s your fault.
15. Sometimes we may withhold oral sex just because we’re on the rag. We want you to suffer too. If you’re a good guy though, chances are, we’ll get out our kneepads and go to town, assuming that when we’re off, you’ll repay the favor. Just don’t ask for a blowjob like an asshole while we have cramps and PMS. That’s where you go wronggggg.
16. We’ll tell you what we like. “OUCH” with a smile is, “ouch, but I like it.” Moaning is good. Open your fucking ears guys. Obviously any noises are good. It’s not that difficult.
17. You have a penis, we expect you have condoms. Most woman have them, but they get destoryed in our huge purses. Technically, we should each have one. If we’re fucking at YOUR house, you should have them andddd vice versa.
18. We aren’t offended when you call us your dirty little slut. It’s HOW you say it. We don’t like dirty talk as much as you say.You kinda look like a creep, really. “Who’s your daddy?” We don’t want to picture our dad fucking us. Get out of here. Pick & choose words carefully.
19. Sex OUTSIDE of the bedroom is fun. If you’re fucking someone who won’t do it in crazy places, then where the hell are you finding these people?
20. We love it half clothed against the wall. We just have to start with the “no, come on…we shouldn’t, not here.” Just start taking off our clothes, we’re game. Granted in 20 min we might not get off, but you can leave and go to work and we’ll finish. We don’t mind starting off your day right, just be ready when you get home. A quickie doesn’t make you clear for the day, fucker.
21. The ass and the vagina are two different things. No means no. Giggles or no giggles, it is not an invitation unless she says yes. If you’re gonna pull that shit, don’t be surprised when our fingers ACCIDENTALLY go in your ass. Come on now.
22. Bras are hard, yah, but get over it. Learn the art. 2 clips, 3 at the most. We can un-do your belt in the heat of the moment, one handed. Step it up. If we see you struggling, we’ll help, but at least try.
23. We’ll get more comfortables with our bodies during sex. Before, sometimes we’re a little shy, especially if we haven’t had time to shave our legs. Just start to fuck, you can see the goods during.
24. We’ll get on top, just tell us. Give us some signals when we’re on there that you like it. A girl’s gotta know.
25. If we get that bored look on our face, it means to bust already, damnit. We aren’t trying to do the look, it just happenes. Man, vaginas get sore after rough sex.
26. We ride you, you touch us. Hello, our tits are right there. Show some love. We’re having too much fun on top to touch ourselves.
27. Chances are most woman won’t gently take your hand and show you how we like it. This isn’t a porno. You’re probably doing okay. And for goodness sakes, cut those fucking fingernails.
28. Sometimes we get into bed, get naked, fool around and then decide that we just want to cuddle. Yah, we got you naked in your bed, but somewhere along the line, you said something wrong or messed up. If you had good game, this wouldn’t happen. Sorry.
29. Not calling shots. Be a man. Yah you expect us to say all this crazy and dirty shit, but we’d rather, really, take a few orders from you.
30. If we feel like it, we’ll crawl across the bed to you on all fours, push you down and crawl on top, don’t worry. Don’t ask us to.
31. Woman have other things that liked to be licked and touches besides our cunt and tits. Move around, use those big man hands of yours, too.
32. Balls are weird. If you’re with a girl who knows what she’s doing, she’ll play with them though. Seriously, we know that they are there. Don’t think we’re gonna have a field day with them, though.
33. Get us off. Finish the job. You started, now finish.
34. Titty fucking sucks for us. If we’re in a good mood, we’ll do it, and enjoy the view of you. Just don’t make it a habitual thing.
35. Doing it against the wall gives us a bruise on our shoulder, yah, and we look at it later and giggle at the memory. So don’t be mad when we bite you for shoving us against the corner of the table, for example. Double standard.
36. Making love and having sex are two different things, so I’m not even gonna go there.
37. Sex is funny. Actually it’s hilarious. Somewhere along the line, someone is going to fall off of a bed, hit their head on a lighting fixture, accidentally kick a midget or trip over a goat. It’s how you deal with it that really matters. We’re gonna laugh if something tickles, or if the condom shoots off. It’s akward, it’s funny. Relax.
38. Yah you can bring up the 3some deal…just don’t ask with our cousin or best friend. Like really, it looks like you just an excuse to fuck one of our girls. Fix your approach, Mr. Charming.
39. Sometimes we’re gonna stop a blowjob and go grab a water. Play with yourself. We’ll be back. Don’t get mad, it’s for the sake of the cotton mouth we have aquired.
40. Nails. Already brought up. We won’t snag your goods with ours, if you don’t rip the inside of our vagina with yours.
41. We don’t bitch when we get jizz on us. Just gives a fucking warning. Jizz in the hair after a quickie on your way out of the house is a good reason to get mad. Speak out killer, we’ll embrace it if it’s appropriate. Yayayaa protein and all that shit, we know, shut up. It’s messy.
42. Boys, make noises. If we know you like something, not only will we keep doing it, but we’re turned on knowing you’re turned on.
43. Faking orgasms. Sometimes we want it over with. Sometimes we just won’t orgasm. We don’t want to crush your ego.
44. If you’ve played a sport/sweaty, your fucking balls smell. Sorry, they do. Wash yourself. Shit, let’s both take a shower. Just don’t come home from baseball practice and demand a blowjob.
45. We know “just the tip”. If we say we’ll play, that means we know we’re fucking. We aren’t that stupid. You aren’t that smart. Get the hint.
46. Sometimes we don’t want to use oils/whipped cream/other messy but fun things not because of our Egyptian cotton sheets, just because we don’t want to. It’s fun, but it’s not all it’s cracked out to be, although we’re sure you have a blast.
47. Take off your pants. Take off your boxers. We want to see your good looking body. There is nothing more degrading to a woman than getting fucked by a guy with his cock through his fucking boxers. What are you afraid to show? Is one ball bigger than the other? Come on.
48. If your jizz is all over our pillows, don’t get mad when we throw them in the wash. We just don’t want to sleep in a pillow full of jizz, sorry. Most likely we’ll wait till the morning, unless you’ve really made a mess. Girls like things clean.
49. We think it’s crazy if you get soft. TELL US what to do to help, cause we think it’s our fault, which leads to the roll over and the “forget it”. We wanna know why it happenes, cause hey, it never happens to us. Elaborate a little. We’ll do our best to get you going. This is a team effort after all.
50. Let us know how it was afterwards, then you can piss and pass out. That’s all we want to talk about, trust us.
That is all.
November 26, 2007
Just the other day I was just checking up my mails when i saw a girl - Friend of from UK, sending me this mail. It seems so fun I thought you guys and girls wanna check it out too. I got another version for men as well. And apparently it seems this was written by a female.
1. Assuming he can get a raging hard on when it suits you. Contrary to popular belief, men can’t just flip a switch and get it up because you decided to stop being a frigid bitch. Getting it hard is your job. I suggest you figure it out.
2. Thinking that kissing needs to be this sweet romantic thing all the time. Sometimes pressing your lips against your partners mouth while you get off is the hot. It depends on the situation.
3. Leaving him responsible for your orgasm. You know what gets you off. Tell him. If you don’t, it’s your own fault when he’s snoozing and you’re all wound up.
4. Expecting him to cuddle. Men and women are wired differently. Sex makes most women want to talk and bond and all that shit. It makes men pass out. It’s a biological thing. Stop fighting it, and stop holding it over his head, it’s not his fault.
5. Expecting him to fall asleep with you in his arms. That shit is uncomfortable after awhile. A little snuggling isn’t unreasonable, but when it’s time to actually sleep? An arm draped over you should suffice.
6. Expecting him to always lay on the charm and romance. Sometimes, that’s nice. Sometimes. But expecting him to be all roses and candles all the time is like expecting you to act like a pornstar all the time. If you’re not willing to do that, don’t expect him to switch for you.
7. Being selfish in bed. Regardless of the shit that Cosmo forces down our throats, sex is NOT just about us. Get over it.
8. Using Cosmo as a sex bible. I dont know who comes up with half that shit, but I’m pretty sure they need counseling.
9. Whining when he pushes your head down on his cock instead of stroking your hair. Know why he’s pushing, skippy? Because you aren’t doing it right, and have apparently ignored the other clues he’s given you. Pay attention to the signals that he’s sending you.
10. Not moving at all. Missionary is not an excuse to do nothing.
11. Expecting him to undress himself with any amount of grace. He’s about to get some pussy. Be glad he bothered to take his pants all the way off. If it concerns you so much, undress him yourself.
12. Not shaving your legs. Im pretty bad at this myself. But if you want your guy stubble free, you better get out the razor.
13. Allowing your crotch to resemble the amazon. Yes, waxing hurts. Yes, some people don’t want to go bare. Thats fine. If you like bush, great. If you have sensitive skin and can’t shave, I feel for you. But for the love of Christ, trim that shit if you want him to spend any time down there.
14. Assuming that sex means a relationship. The only relationship you have is that he has now stuck his hoo hoo dilly in your cha cha. That’s as far as it goes unless otherwise noted.
15. Withholding oral sex just because you’re ragging. He didn’t do it. Unless you want him to withhold oral sex because he’s hormonal, I suggest you get some kneepads.
16. Expecting him to figure out what you like by what noise you make. Use your words. Have you ever actually heard what you sound like while you’re having sex? If you heard yourself on tape, and someone asked you to explain what was causing you to make that noise, 67% of women would respond with answers like “I stubbed my toe” “I ran up the steps” or “I was putting up drywall”.
17. Leaving condoms up to him. If you’re sexually active and insist that he uses a condom, I suggest buying a box and keeping it by your bed. Not all men keep them on them, and it’s just as much your responsibility as it is his. If you think that makes you a slut, you shouldn’t be having sex anyway. Go back to Jr High.
18. Getting your undies in a bunch when he talks dirty. A little fantasy can be fun. If he treats you with respect all the time, you shouldn’t be offended when he calls you his dirty little slut. When he calls you a whore and tells you to come, its his way of showing that he cares if you get off. Stop being a sissy.
19. Refusing to be spontaneous. I know this is shocking, but sometimes sex OUTSIDE of the bedroom is fun.
20. Dissing quickies because it’s not some slow sensual ordeal. Sex is a dynamic thing. Theres an awesome raw energy when you only have 20 minutes but having to have someone so bad that you do it half clothed against the wall. Readjust your thinking.
21. Being too much of a pussy to tell him what is or isn’t acceptable before you start bumping uglies. Be honest. If he asks if he can poke you in the butt, and you giggle and say no like it’s an invitation, don’t look surprised when he “accidentally” sticks his cock in your butt.
22. Expecting him to undress you. I put a bra on almost every day. I know for a fact that getting them off isn’t always easy. Help a brother out.
23. Undressing in the dark. If youre shy, dim the lights, but give the man something to see. No ripping off the clothes and diving under the covers, either.
24. Refusing to get on top. Theres no reason men should have to do all the work.
25. Getting that bored look on your face. Men are more visual than women. Give him something to look at. Get on top and arch your back a little bit. Move. Do something to indicate that you 1) are not dead and 2) didn’t suffer a minor stroke rendering you unable to move.
26. Expecting him to do all the touching when you’re riding him. It’s your body, you’re used to it. Play with your tits, rub your clit, do something to make his job easier.
27. Being too afraid to guide your partner’s hand when hes touching you. Don’t like the way he’s doing it? Gently take his hand and show him how you like it.
28. Getting into bed, getting naked, fooling around and then deciding that you just want to cuddle, then getting offended when he doesn’t. Its your choice to stop, but don’t look all fucking surprised when he’s confused. You got him naked in your bed, what else did you think was going to happen?
29. Refusing to let him take control. So your a feminist. Big fucking deal. Letting him call the shots doesn’t make you any less of one.
30. Refusing to take control. Its ok to crawl across a bed to him on all fours, push him down and crawl on top. It’s not his responsibility to start things all the time.
31. Forgetting that he has a body that likes to be touched, too. Men have things like backs and shoulders and stomachs and other parts that are fun to kiss and touch. You miss a lot of good places by concentrating solely on his penis.
32. Ignoring his balls. Seriously, they are there. Kiss them, lick them, suck on them, make a relationship with them, just don’t ignore them.
33. Leaving him to his own devices. Nothing is worse than a girl who gets you most of the way off and then bolts because she doesn’t want to deal with the mess.
34. Launching into some speech about not being an object for sex when he tries to titty fuck you. Jesus Christ, just push them together and enjoy yourself. You get a great view.
35. Expecting him to handle you like a porcelain doll. I’d hate to be the bearer of bad news, but you’re not going to break, sister. So doing it against the wall gives you a bruise on your shoulder. Look at it later and giggle at the memory.
36. Refusing to try things in the name of “making love”. You’re not making anything. You are naked. With another person. Making strange faces and weird noises. Stop romanticizing it.
37. Taking things way too seriously. Sex is funny. Actually it’s hilarious. Somewhere along the line, someone is going to fall off of a bed, hit their head on a lighting fixture, accidentally kick a midget or trip over a goat. It’s how you deal with it that really matters.
38. Throwing a bitch fit when he asks for a 3 some. Its the American dream. (I know my ex is reading this right now, so a quick interjection. One request for a 3 some is ok. Every 5 minutes, not so much. Know the difference).
39. Continuing a blow job knowing that you have god awful cotton mouth. Really. Grab a bottle of water.
40. Nails. Its one thing tracing them up and down your partners back. Its another when you snag the goods with a claw.
41. Bitching when you get jizz on you. You’re having sex. That will happen. Thats the entire point of sex. Establish where he can and cant jizz and be done with it. Remember, it tightens the pores.
42. Not making any noises at all. Moan. Scream his name. Something so he knows he’s the best you’ve had, even if he isn’t.
43. Faking orgasms. Just. Don’t. By faking (IF he believes you) he thinks he’s doing everything right. And if he doesn’t know its not working, he’s not going to change it. Starting a vicious cycle of unfulfilling sex which will eventually be very damaging to his ego.
44. Not washing before sex. I know that sex is spontaneous, this is more of a general statement. If you haven’t showered that day, and things smell a little…fishy…perhaps demanding oral sex is a little ridiculous of you.
45. Anything that involves inserting anything into his body that he has not specifically approved before hand. I don’t care what Cosmo says, some things are simply not pleasant surprises.
46. Refusing to use oils/whipped cream/other messy but fun things because you have 541510630 count Egyptian cotton sheets that were made by hand by the only person alive capable of sewing that pattern. They’ll wash.
47. Doing all of your before bed things before sex. Yes, sleeping with makeup on is bad. Now is not the time to remove it, you can do that later. And really fucking you with your hair in a ratty scrunchie with acne cream on your nose is not all its cracked up to be.
48. Cleaning up after sex. Wiping the splooge off is one thing. But changing the sheets immediately so you can get the other ones in the washer and then sanitizing everything your naked body might have possibly passed by is not the way to do it.
49. Making a big deal out of it if he loses his hard on. This is not an interrogation, or 20 questions. It happens, he’s probably mortified and you are NOT helping. Refrain from using phrases like “it happens to every guy”. Just move to other activities until it gets hard again, and if it doesn’t, get off another way with him. He’s still capable of getting you off. Mumbling “Forget it” and rolling over are not ok.
50. Asking questions right afterwards. The woman equivalent of “was it good for you?”. Now is not a good time to ask “What this means”. Right now, it means he probably needs to take a drink, a leak and a nap, perhaps not in that order.
Done.
November 16, 2007
If you are preparing for a career in IT or are new to IT, many of the “dirty little secrets” listed below may surprise you because we don’t usually talk about them out loud. If you are an IT veteran, you’ve probably encountered most of these issues and have a few of your own to add — and please, by all means, take a moment to add them to the discussion. Most of these secrets are aimed at network administrators, IT managers, and desktop support professionals. This list is not aimed at developers and programmers — they have their own set of additional dirty little secrets — but some of these will apply to them as well.
10.) The pay in IT is good compared to many other professions, but since they pay you well, they often think they own you
Although the pay for IT professionals is not as great as it was before the dot-com flameout and the IT backlash in 2001-2002, IT workers still make very good money compared to many other professions (at least the ones that require only an associate’s or bachelor’s degree). And there is every reason to believe that IT pros will continue to be in demand in the coming decades, as technology continues to play a growing role in business and society. However, because IT professionals can be so expensive, some companies treat IT pros like they own them. If you have to answer a tech call at 9:00 PM because someone is working late, you hear, “That’s just part of the job.” If you need to work six hours on a Saturday to deploy a software update to avoid downtime during business hours, you get, “There’s no comp time for that since you’re on salary. That’s why we pay you the big bucks!”
9.) It will be your fault when users make silly errors
Some users will angrily snap at you when they are frustrated. They will yell, “What’s wrong with this thing?” or “This computer is NOT working!” or (my personal favorite), “What did you do to the computers?” In fact, the problem is that they accidentally deleted the Internet Explorer icon from the desktop, or unplugged the mouse from the back of the computer with their foot, or spilled their coffee on the keyboard.
8.) You will go from goat to hero and back again multiple times within any given day
When you miraculously fix something that had been keeping multiple employees from being able to work for the past 10 minutes — and they don’t realize how simple the fix really was — you will become the hero of the moment and everyone’s favorite employee. But they will conveniently forget about your hero anointment a few hours later when they have trouble printing because of a network slowdown — you will be enemy No. 1 at that moment. But if you show users a handy little Microsoft Outlook trick before the end of the day, you’ll soon return to hero status.
7.) Certifications won’t always help you become a better technologist, but they can help you land a better job or a pay raise
Headhunters and human resources departments love IT certifications. They make it easy to match up job candidates with job openings. They also make it easy for HR to screen candidates. You’ll hear a lot of veteran IT pros whine about techies who were hired based on certifications but who don’t have the experience to effectively do the job. They are often right. That has happened in plenty of places. But the fact is that certifications open up your career options. They show that you are organized and ambitious and have a desire to educate yourself and expand your skills. If you are an experienced IT pro and have certifications to match your experience, you will find yourself to be extremely marketable. Tech certifications are simply a way to prove your baseline knowledge and to market yourself as a professional. However, most of them are not a good indicator of how good you will be at the job.
6.) Your nontechnical co-workers will use you as personal tech support for their home PCs
Your co-workers (in addition to your friends, family, and neighbors) will view you as their personal tech support department for their home PCs and home networks. They will e-mail you, call you, and/or stop by your office to talk about how to deal with the virus that took over their home PC or the wireless router that stopped working after the last power outage and to ask you how to put their photos and videos on the Web so their grandparents in Iowa can view them. Some of them might even ask you if they can bring their home PC to the office for you to fix it. The polite ones will offer to pay you, but some of them will just hope or expect you can help them for free. Helping these folks can be very rewarding, but you have to be careful about where to draw the line and know when to decline.
5.) Vendors and consultants will take all the credit when things work well and will blame you when things go wrong
Working with IT consultants is an important part of the job and can be one of the more challenging things to manage. Consultants bring niche expertise to help you deploy specialized systems, and when everything works right, it’s a great partnership. But you have to be careful. When things go wrong, some consultants will try to push the blame off on you by arguing that their solution works great everywhere else so it must be a problem with the local IT infrastructure. Conversely, when a project is wildly successful, there are consultants who will try to take all of the credit and ignore the substantial work you did to customize and implement the solution for your company.
4.) You’ll spend far more time babysitting old technologies than implementing new ones
One of the most attractive things about working in IT is the idea that we’ll get to play with the latest cutting edge technologies. However, that’s not usually the case in most IT jobs. The truth is that IT professionals typically spend far more time maintaining, babysitting, and nursing established technologies than implementing new ones. Even IT consultants, who work with more of the latest and greatest technologies, still tend to work primarily with established, proven solutions rather than the real cutting edge stuff.
3.) Veteran IT professionals are often the biggest roadblock to implementing new technologies
A lot of companies could implement more cutting edge stuff than they do. There are plenty of times when upgrading or replacing software or infrastructure can potentially save money and/or increase productivity and profitability. However, it’s often the case that one of the largest roadblocks to migrating to new technologies is not budget constraints or management objections; it’s the veteran techies in the IT department. Once they have something up and running, they are reluctant to change it. This can be a good thing because their jobs depend on keeping the infrastructure stable, but they also use that as an excuse to not spend the time to learn new things or stretch themselves in new directions. They get lazy, complacent, and self-satisfied.
2.) Some IT professionals deploy technologies that do more to consolidate their own power than to help the business
Another subtle but blameworthy thing that some IT professionals do is select and implement technologies based on how well those technologies make the business dependent on the IT pros to run them, rather than which ones are truly best for the business itself. For example, IT pros might select a solution that requires specialized skills to maintain instead of a more turnkey solution. Or an IT manager might have more of a Linux/UNIX background and so chooses a Linux-based solution over a Windows solution, even though the Windows solution is a better business decision (or, vice versa, a Windows admin might bypass a Linux-based appliance, for example). There are often excuses and justifications given for this type of behavior, but most of them are disingenuous.
1.) IT pros frequently use jargon to confuse nontechnical business managers and hide the fact that they screwed up
All IT pros — even the very best — screw things up once in a while. This is a profession where a lot is at stake and the systems that are being managed are complex and often difficult to integrate. However, not all IT pros are good at admitting when they make a mistake. Many of them take advantage of the fact that business managers (and even some high-level technical managers) don’t have a good understanding of technology, and so the techies will use jargon to confuse them (and cover up the truth) when explaining why a problem or an outage occurred. For example, to tell a business manager why a financial application went down for three hours, the techie might say, “We had a blue screen of death on the SQL Server that runs that app. Damn Microsoft!” What the techie would fail to mention was that the BSOD was caused by a driver update he applied to the server without first testing it on a staging machine.
Source: techrepublic.com